How do I start?

Well....basically i hate my life and I've decided to tell you all about it...of course if you're reading it..so I just think im indecisive,Im messy...I hate myself,the reason that I opened this blog is that I want to inspire people with my thoughts,I think too much and nobody gets to hear what I want and the opinion I have on ...EVERYTHING!!! And Im tired of this situation that Im in....For a long time I wanted to be a writer,and decided to sent  my teacher an essay I worked for 2 weeks to rate it...she didnt look happy..believe me :( then I settled my mind to be a musician,well that's still my dream but Idont know If im talented enough.And more and more things,The only talent that I have is to eaaaaaaat and to reblog.
I have so many thing on my mind but I dont know how to express them 

this is what Im talking about